My name is Gabrielle "Elle" Devenish, a 30-year-old single Christian woman. I have struggled – and do struggle – with an eating disorder that I developed in my teens. I have had awesome periods of recovery, but certain triggers (i.e. major life changes, etc.) send me spiraling again, each time damaging my body more, as it can only take so much in one lifetime.

A few days before Christmas (2011) I was feeling nauseous and faint. I laid on my bed and slowly I felt all the sensation going out of my body, starting with my toes. This continued until my lungs became paralyzed and the loud roar and bright spots flashing on blackness in my head dimmed. I knew Jesus was taking me, and I was ready. My last final cohesive thought was "Into Thy Hands I commit my spirit" and then there was complete silence, emptiness, darkness.